Kindness and Work: Remember the Human Behind the Curtain
This post is a “do as I say, not as I do” post. I’m constantly telling my clients about using proper SEO blog titles, writing toward your goals, writing about your skills to serve an end goal: promoting yourself and selling services.
However, sometimes we want to use our platforms for our own personal thoughts and stories. Sometimes, a blog should be an outlet; it should be a space to write about what’s been bouncing around in your brain. This post is a result of a crazy 2020 - I’m sure it was just as crazy for all of us - as a result of COVID-19 , the pandemic that changed the world.
In Crisis, People Tend to Panic
Of course they do! I panic a lot, too! When the world gets turned upside down and suddenly you can’t tell what’s up or down, people lose their balance and feel “off.” Everyone handles this in different ways.
That’s okay. It happens to all of us.
But when this DOES happen, it’s important to take a moment to reflect on what’s happening inside and ensuring it doesn’t reflect and bounce off others. It’s totally okay to feel, but it’s not okay to project those feelings onto others and cause harm.
Often, I’ll find myself “biting my husband’s head off” when I’m feeling moody. It’s my own personal work to ensure that my moods don’t affect him. I’m getting better at it every day. But because I know I do this, I am getting better and better at spotting when it’s happening to me.
→ CDC Resources for Mental Health
This means that I’m getting really good at telling if a client’s jabs at me are because I did something wrong (which happens!) or if it’s because of their mental health or insecurity about their business.
The Thing Is, I’m the Gatekeeper for Businesses
Design is the thing that brings content, strategy, vision, and the core of your business to LIFE! My designs, from logo to website, are the piece that make everything real. I’m the gatekeeper between a business being only a concept and then suddenly being real. I’m the person that pushes the “launch” button. I’m the person connecting a domain to a website. I’m the person who says “Ta-da! Your site is now live on the internet!”
Because of this, client stress sometimes can culminate with me.
If content wasn’t perfect, or vision wasn’t honed in from the beginning, or the client is insecure with what they’re offering, then those discomforts can manifest in uncomfortable ways and toward me. This means that I’m often taking the brunt of frustration and having to walk my clients through the steps and seeing where the issues lie.
This pandemic quickly showed me the importance of boundaries.
Even though I get that it’s hard to launch a business and I’m the last step, I still should be treated with respect. Kindness is one of my company values for a reason. I could be having the most frustrating day, everything could be going wrong, and it’s still important for me to communicate in facts and not feelings. I have never lashed out at a client. I have often been sad with a client, mentioning about how busy I am and how horrible I feel about the delays on responses, but I have never been outright cruel with a client.
But, they’re often cruel to me.
I’ve been told that I’m a terrible designer. I’ve been told “Wow, my logo is okay but, I really wish it was as good as this one…” I’ve been told their expectations aren’t being met, even when I don’t even have an outstanding invoice or contract with that client! I’ve been told that a client doesn’t like my logo designs, even when they said on a call that they did (sometimes they’re afraid they’ll hurt my feelings.) I’ve of course gotten the oh-so-fun “Why haven’t you responded?” even though it’s been less than 24 hours.
These things compound together to create fissures of stress and anxiety. Because when clients reach out to me and say hurtful things, I have to then take more time out of my day to be sure I respond with grace and proper communication.
I challenge you to take a moment with all of your communications, and ensure you’re remembering the human on the other side.
Don’t forget:
We’re in one of the biggest civil rights movements of our country’s history. #blacklivesmatter
We’re in the largest global pandemic in 100 years
This pandemic has shut down jobs
This pandemic has disrupted our daily lives and caused us all to watch friends and family struggle
Regardless of what you think about politics, there is IMMENSE pressure and unease on both sides
Those reasons alone are enough to give anyone a break.
I get it. I might have delayed an email response. I might have not gotten you that logo file I promised. I might have not tweaked that one thing on your website. None of these things mean I’m a lesser person or mistreating you. After all, thank heavens we’re not doctors! It’s okay if some things take a beat longer, or if I need a gentle nudge. I try my hardest not to let that happen, but my business model means I’m juggling multiple clients at a time, and most of the time, the holdups are when clients request free or quick changes to a site I’ve already built. (I’m constantly working on this issue.)
My favorite moment this month was when I sent out an email to a couple of folks apologizing that I was so slow in my responses.
I got an email back from someone that said “Don’t worry. We’re all here. This isn’t mission critical. You’re doing your best.”
And I took a moment to read that email a thousand times, because it was the first time the whole month a client had been patient with me when I had messed up. This kindness and patience goes a long way in creating a wonderful and healthy relationship between two humans.
So please, be communicative, be straight, and be kind.
